My Day of Reckoning

I had a moment this past Sunday. It was a moment that was unlike any I’d had in my sixty-three+ years. I’m still processing it because, as I’ve heard younger folks say, it had all the feels.

It was a moment of White People’s Privilege revealed, of Black Lives Matter amplified. I’m not yet sure what it will become…

Father’s Day Plans

Sunday was Father’s Day. Our youngest daughter has been visiting for a couple of weeks while working remotely and preparing to go to graduate school. Our middle daughter, who lives nearby, planned a celebration with her sister, her boyfriend, and My Bride to come over for a special lunch, carried out from a local grill. This allowed me to get my favorite, the Unicorn Burger (combined ground beef and bacon) for a rare treat.

Our two older kids were unavailable for lunch, but I spoke with both via text during the day. I also called my father for a half hour chat, too.

The plan was to eat lunch, take a stroll over to the Lee Monument which is the main site of all BLM protests in Richmond these days, and then saunter back home. On 

the way, we’d pass by a local ice cream shop for a treat.

Sounds incredibly white bread, middle American, doesn’t it?

Lunch was a joyful hour with laughter and talk of good times, out in the backyard under the shade of a tree that makes the place look like a French garden.

Life changes

Leon Traveler - before

After lunch, we started walking the eight blocks to the Lee Monument that sits on Virginia state land on Monument Avenue. (If you don’t know Richmond VA, it’s worth googling all of this to understand the context.) The area is a grass island about fifty yards across and, in the middle, sits a forty-foot tall pedestal upon which sits a twenty-foot tall statue of Lee on his horse Traveler. (A guy I know who was born and raised in Richmond was told by his father, every time they passed it, “Look there’s Lee on Traveler.” For a long time, he thought the statue was of someone named Leon Traveler.)

The Lee Monument is a glaring tribute to Gen. Robert E. Lee who led the Confederate Army in the Civil War. A graduate of West Point, he was considered a military genius and great leader who resigned his commission in the US Army to fight for his homeland, the South. (He was from Virginia.) After surrendering to Gen. U. S. Grant at Appomattox, he returned to his beloved state to live out his days. The statue to him was erected in 1890 to memorialize his efforts in the “Lost Cause” of the Confederacy. It has been a sharp stick in the eye for black people ever since as it essentially tells them that they’re lucky to no longer be enslaved. But they could be, should the South Rise, Again! (Can you imagine statues of Hitler, placed by his followers after the war was lost? Just to remind people that they could still be Nazis?)

As we got closer, we could hear up tempo music coming from near the monument. When we rounded the corner, we were greeted with an amazing site. (I have been walking or riding past regularly but weather had kept me away for the last week or so.)

Leon Traveler - with additional art

The entire circle had been surrounded by barricades (portable concrete things like you see in highway construction) a few days before in preparation for removing the statue which had been ordered by the Governor. The barricades had all been painted in bright colors and covered with all manner of graffiti, most of which having to do with the BLM movement.

New name

As we got closer, other things caught my eye. A banner had been erected on two posts welcoming everyone to the Marcus-David Peters Circle. (He was a young black schoolteacher who was having a mental health crisis 2 years ago. He was gunned down by a police officer while running naked near the interstate. There is a call for a law that requires mental health professionals to handle calls such as this in the future, and it’s named for him.)

The pedestal had multiple layers of graffiti on every available space, rising almost to the top of the structure. Very little space had been spared the artist’s work. My brain attempted to process all the messages as my eyes roved slowly over the work. After staring for several minutes, and walking all around the circle, I finally realized something. The memorial made sense; it finally had context that had been missing for over a century.

The statue seems to be saying, “We left our country and fought a war to allow us to keep owning people! When we lost that war, the victors made an effort to build the nation back together by allowing us back into the Republic but we no longer had our slaves, people who had been our property. We built this monument to someone who embodied and fought for what we believed in just to let you know that we hadn’t disappeared completely. That given a chance, we’d enslave you again because the Lost Cause isn’t really lost until we say so! That’s why we still fly the Stars and Bars flag. That’s why we keep you down whenever we get a chance, so you know your place.”

Artwork by Anger

The graffiti seems to be saying, “We have been victims of your biases, beliefs, and actions for 400 years! Every time we’ve said ‘Enough!’ you’ve grudgingly given us some tiny freedom but took something else away in return. And you’ve never stopped killing us, harassing us, treating us as lesser beings. And we’ve taken it for the last time. We’re going to point out systemic racism and we’re going to keep doing it until you say ‘Enough!’ We want, and we deserve, equality and justice. And we will not settle for less.”

MB and I made eye contact. She said quietly, “It finally looks right, doesn’t it?” I vigorously agreed.

The Gallery of the Dead

By this time, I’d been walking around the circle for about twenty minutes. I finally noticed dozens of small signs placed around the perimeter of the pedestal, on the grounds, and some up on the pedestal itself. All of them looked nearly the same. On each was a small photograph of a black person. Next to the picture was text describing them in detail. More importantly, it described how they had died at the hands of police officers. In nearly every case, the person in the picture had been minding their own business when they were stopped in their car; or stopped while jogging; or stopped while walking through their neighborhood; or doing something else completely legal. Smiling, happy, young, beautiful, actual people all dead. 

Dozens of them.

After reading the fifth or sixth one, I suddenly realized that I was struggling to keep my composure. My eyes were filling up, and I could feel a sob welling up in me. My heart hurt. Before I ended up on my knees, I turned and walked a few steps away and leaned against the barricades, at the perimeter, closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I began to calm down but as that happened, I could feel something else coming on.

I found myself filling with anger and despair and frustration and disgust. I’ve tamped it down, a bit, since Sunday but it’s still there.

I’m angry that after the war, so much work went into rebuilding in an effort to “bind the nation’s wounds” only to be wasted when so many white people decided that they “hadn’t actually lost” the war. And that those people managed to rise into power, and created another way to keep slaves, just not call them that. Laws were passed that allowed people who were arrested to be used as labor – and guess who they made sure got arrested? And the people that did all that arresting were the fore runners to today’s police departments. (Want to read about it?   https://plsonline.eku.edu/insidelook/brief-history-slavery-and-origins-american-policing )

I’m frustrated this level of systemic racism still exists! That black people simply don’t have justice or even equality in this country. That black people earn, on average, less than 80% of their white counterparts with the same education and experience. That black people live in neighborhoods with a lower tax base and, therefore, worse school systems, so it makes it more difficult to get the same education. That black people are far more likely to be arrested, jailed, and killed by our penal system. 

And I’m most frustrated with the fact that there is a plurality of white people who don’t know this and really don’t care enough to do anything about it. And aren’t even willing to listen because they aren’t going to change their minds.

And I’m disgusted with myself for not having listened before. Not taken the time to learn. Not had the balls to stand up and say, “Enough!”  Like most white people, I don’t think I’m a racist. But if I’m going to say that a “good cop” who doesn’t say anything when a “bad cop” is misbehaving is, really, just another bad cop, then I have to say the same thing about myself.

I’ve been a racist all my life and I must change.

Learning is needed

What is it going to take for white people to understand all this? How many more of our black brothers and sisters must be enslaved, mistreated, imprisoned, even killed before we all say, "ENOUGH!"?

What will it take before everyone understands that we all share the same 99.9% of DNA, that of homo sapiens, also known as humans? Scientists tell us that we all are descended from the first humans in Africa. 

In other words, we’re all black! How do we get that across to everyone?

Where do I go from here? To be continued…

I’m not a racist, just ask me!

(Let me start by saying that I’m a white male, over sixty years of age, and I don’t claim to be anything but that. I’m no expert – just a guy going through life and learning a little bit more every day. I admit that I’m a racist and I work to become less of one every day. I work to make the world better every day. This post is dedicated to that.)

Last fall, I was talking with one of my less liberal friends (okay, he’s MAGAT) and he said to me at some point,

“Obama was the most racist SOB I’ve ever seen in my life and took this country back 50 years!”

When I asked him how he’d arrived at that opinion, he said,

“Are you deaf? All he ever talks about is race and black people and helping the black people. He’s got the Presidency. What more does he want?”

When I pointed out that he’d been elected by the majority and was only looking to continue work that had been done before him, namely working for justice, he said,

“All he did was stir people up. He’s caused more division than ever before. Things were moving along just fine before he was elected.”

The conversation ended soon after but it stuck with me for a very long time.

I’ve been saying for years that we, as a nation, are headed for a civil war – this time between the haves and the have nots. The latter is made up of an abundance of black people and while there have been strides made over the last 50 years, they’ve been slow to come. Equality has been achieved, at least on paper, and equity has been given in miniscule doses. Justice, which is what Dr. Martin Luther King advocated for, has never gotten much movement.

Justice, as this picture shows, is the removal of the barriers that cause black people to suffer inequity and inequality. And removing them requires a major shift in some things that can’t be legislated – culture and belief.

Why? Because the culture of racism, the belief that one group is better than another solely because of skin color, is the driving force behind those barriers. If one group believes they are better than another, even if it’s subconscious bias, the barriers will be erected and nourished. Or at the very least, left in place.

But I’m NOT a racist!

I used to say that. Until I was shown the concept of white privilege and came to understand that some of the things in my life were the direct result of being white. (I admit, this took a long time for me to get. I knew how hard I’d worked, how I’d made something of myself. And often, I thought, with no one’s help. It’s taken a great deal to admit that I’d gotten a leg up because I’m white.)

And learning about it stopped me in my tracks. It made me look inside myself to understand how I could be blind to my fellow humans’ mistreatment. After a good bit of reflection, I realized I am racist (spoiler alert – we all are) and I decided that I would change it. Interested?

White Privilege – I’ve heard of it and I don’t believe it. Everything I got I worked for!

White privilege takes many forms and is difficult, for me at least, to define. I understand it, one level, to be: getting more opportunities because your skin is not black. On another level, it’s having obstacles put in front of you because you’re black. What makes it difficult for white people to see is that we’ve been getting it for so long, we just assume it’s normal. Here are some examples.

Studies have shown that when two people who are applying for the same job have similar qualifications, experiences, and education, the person with the more “whiter sounding name” is more likely to be called for an interview by a factor of more than 3 to 2. (The “white” name had to send 10 resumes for a call back. “Black” names had to send 15. That’s from the National Bureau of Economic Research, a non-partisan research firm.)

Are you wondering if that’s true? Okay, here’s a little test for you. Here are some names of people applying for a job. Which name sounds white or black to you?

Jamaal Washington versus Jim Washington

Sandy Van Cleve versus Shami’qua Van Cleve

Stone Harris versus Stephan Harris

Did you catch yourself putting them into categories? That just makes you average! Now you’re going to be looking out for it but before this exercise, you may not have even thought about it.

The Traffic Stop

If you’ve ever been pulled over by a police officer while driving your car, what were you thinking as you slowed down and stopped? Was it focused on getting out your driver’s license/registration/insurance card? Was it focused on the reason as in, why did he stop me? Was it focused around the excuse you’d use for speeding? If it was any of these, you are most probably a white person.

Black people tell me that their first thoughts are focused on keeping their hands in plain sight, at all times, and waiting to be given instructions. Or their thoughts are focused on how reasonable the police officer is or how likely he is to abuse them. Or to remind themselves to be as low-key, respectful, and follow every request of the police officer and don’t give them a reason to kill you.

That’s right, they’re worried about being killed or injured during an act that almost no white person would ever worry about being killed. The. Same. Act.

Next time you’re pulled over, think about how it must feel to worry about being roughed up and possibly killed for having an expired license plate, or a burned-out taillight.  As the police officer walks to your car, think about sitting very still, with your hands up on the dashboard or hanging out the window so he can see them, hoping he’s not one of those types.

You don’t have to, of course, because of white privilege.

Income and Jobs

When white people and black people are in the same job, the black employee earns about 20% less, on average. Same experience level, same education, same training, but different pay. Just because of the different pigmentation of one’s skin.

And black people are less likely to picked for the same job as white people or need more qualifications to get the same job as a white person. This data exists in every study that’s been done by every institution.

Every. Single. One.

Housing and Schooling

There’s a trickle-down effect to the income and jobs piece. It means that black people are less likely to own a home and if they do, it’s less expensive than a white person’s home. Since it’s probably in a less expensive neighborhood, the tax base is smaller. As such, the public schools don’t get as much funding and probably aren’t as new, as good, as well appointed, and struggle to turn out high test scores. This, in turn, makes it more difficult for black people to get into colleges and universities – those that do are more likely to have higher student loans that they struggle to pay back, assuming they’re able to break through and graduate. And it continues again.

It’s a Black and White Cycle

White privilege creates a cycle of white opportunities and more chances to be successful. It expands the chances for you and others like you to flower and grow. 

And you don’t even realize it.

In so doing, it creates a cycle of black oppression as explained above that becomes harder and harder to break through. It means that black people get fewer and fewer chances to flower and grow. The difference is, they realize it and fight like crazy to break out. Frankly, I’m amazed that so many have been able to!

Racism has gone on for centuries. Finally, America seems to have reached a turning point that needed to come, the “civil war” I referenced earlier. These last couple of weeks have been painful with hundreds of demonstrations, some turning violent, and rioting and looting. I’m hoping it doesn’t escalate any farther than that. Dr. King wrote that “riots are the voice of the unheard” when asked why people do it.

Think about this; three years ago, Colin Kaepernick was vilified for protesting police brutality by taking a knee during the National Anthem. White people, including the President, called him out for doing it and the NFL shut down the act in all their games. (That’s not the right was to protest this! You’re disrespecting the Flag, the Anthem, America, the Military! Stop!)

Now, black people (joined by white people who are fed up, too) are marching against police brutality and systemic racism and a very small percentage of those people are setting fire to businesses and looting. Again, white people are saying “that’s not the way to protest!”

So, what is the right way? When will white people (the ones in charge) say, “Oh, now we hear you! That’s the right way to protest!” And then do something about it????

These marches and protests will not be the big event that changes everything all at once. Culture doesn’t change (trust me, I’m an expert on this; it’s my job) as if a switch has been flipped. It will take at least a generation to change and that’s if everyone commits to working at it. Without full commitment it could take several generations.

Was my MAGAT friend correct? Was Obama a racist?

If I go with the belief that everyone is at least a little bit racist, then yes, President Obama was a racist. That’s an oversimplification, of course. More importantly, he called out racism when he saw it in action which causes discomfort among those continuing the cycle of white privilege. Their response, rather than to own their own issues and have a conversation that could result in understanding and change, was to go “underground” with their feelings. And then, after he served his two terms, elect someone to the role who is all about White Privilege, writ large! That has allowed them to come back out into the mainstream, talk about what a racist he was and put all the white privilege cycle back into place – returning it to the status quo.

The results have been devastating to black people for the past three years. Finally, with the clearly recorded murder of George Floyd, the time came. Enough white people were appalled to get up and say, “Enough! This must change!”

If that group all remains engaged, and listens and takes their lead from black people, we have a chance to slow and eventually stop this vicious cycle. Diligence will be required as work like this is ever easy. In fact, it’s damned hard. I’ve decided I’m going to do my share.

How am I getting better?

I’m asking questions (of black people, if possible) and then I’m shutting my mouth and listening. The questions are those that I’ve never asked before, like:

“Should black people be called that or African-Americans or what?” (Black people is a better choice unless you hear differently)

“Is white privilege really a thing? What does it look like?” (See above)

“How do I become less racist?” (See above)

“What’s the best way for me to be an ally?” (listen to black people, hear them stand with them, don’t pretend to know how they feel, and look for ways to block systemic racism)

I’m also doing research on the web, reading and watching videos. A recent series just began called “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man” by Emmanuel Acho. It’s an outstanding series and I highly recommend it. (Google it.)

In the future I’ll post books and other things I’ve found. Thanks for listening.