A few
weeks ago, MB and I flew down to Florida for a wedding on her side of the
family. It turned into a raucously good time, winding up as a family reunion of
sorts with about 25 people attending from all over the country.
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| 'Murica |
The festivities
took place in central Florida, a town called Crescent City, that is reachable
by driving 40 – 50 miles from one of 3 different airports. We got the best
price from JetBlue to Orlando and so our drive was through the most rural part
of the state including Pierson, the Fern Capital of the World. (I had no idea
this existed; there were miles of covered fields, all housing ferns from the
sun.)
This
ride is mainly on 2 lane blacktop, going through small towns and communities.
It’s the heart of Trump country, with many of his
signature signs still up in
celebration. There were even some billboards congratulating him.
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| Coming soon! |
I turned
the satellite radio to Radio Margaritaville and played it loud while MB
knitted.
Cheap
Motels
We had
made reservations at one of the places to stay in Crescent City, the Lake View
Motel. It had been a number of years since I stayed in a “motel” (a word coined
mid-20th century for Motor Hotel, in other words along the road) and
I had a pretty low bar set for what we would find. At $70 a night, you need to
set your sights a little lower. This place was your basic cinder block construction,
painted bright white with a very well kept outside appearance.
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| King of the Road... |
To our
surprise, the hotel while dating from the 1950s, was very well kept inside,
clean and bright, and the proprietors (a Middle eastern family) very friendly.
They’ve evidently run the place for almost 10 years and clearly take pride in
it; the place was full for the weekend with all 18 rooms in use.
Our
room had an issue with a toilet that wouldn’t flush very well. We reported it
the first morning and they attempted to fix it while we were out. Unable to do
so properly, the owner went and purchased a new one and he and his handyman
installed it the next morning while we went out for breakfast. The only thing
missing in the motel was any kind of internet but we got around that by going
to McDonalds to use their wifi one morning, allowing us to keep up with the rest
of the world.
Wedding
and After Party
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| Let's party! |
The
wedding took place on the beach, reachable by a 45 minute drive through a
magnificent park. Afterwards, we all headed back to Crescent City to a local
restaurant where the bride and groom had first met 3 years before. The restaurant
was called “Three Bananas” and every sign we saw for it, although not the one
on the building, had a misplaced apostrophe that just drove MB crazy the entire
weekend. The current “apostrophe catastrophe” in our country is very real in
her mind and she never misses a chance to bemoan the complete downfall of
English grammar. (This from a guy who drinks coffee from a cup that says “I am
silently correcting your grammar.”)
There
were lots of pictures taken, lots of food was consumed (nearly all of it was
fried, much to the disgust of MB who is not a fan of bar food anyway) and
plenty of drinks were drunk. A large time was shaping up to be had by all!
About
6:30, the musical provider began setting up. I thought it was a DJ at first; he
was setting up a portable PA system (Fender Passport – a real nice, small
system) a computer with lots of music loaded up, and a microphone system. Hmm.
Was this karaoke?
He
carried in a guitar gig bag containing a Fender Strat knockoff, and a keyboard
and stand, and set those up, too. Apparently, he was a musician! By then, he
had a helper who stationed himself at the computer. They talked back and forth
for a few minutes and then started the show.
The
singer stepped up to the keyboard, pulled the mic up to his mouth and
introduced himself. (I didn’t catch the name.) He said to be prepared to dance
and have some fun! The music started and he began singing a KC and the Sunshine
Band number.
Tables
were pulled back to clear a space for a dance floor and the bride and groom got
their first dance in as the singer switched to something slow. All the other
traditional dances (father and bride, mom and groom, etc) took place and there
was great picture taking going on throughout all of it.
After
the bridal party finished all the planned bits, the singer began performing a
string of dance numbers and up tempo songs to get folks out on the dance floor.
Up to this point, I’d been off to the side taking pictures and singing along. I
caught MB’s eye and we headed out to dance.
And
then, it got kind of weird….
Somewhere
along about the fourth or fifth song, I found myself directly in front of the
singer. I forget what song he was doing but a guitar solo was about to come up
on it (at least that’s what the original had) and I turned to watch him play
it.
(Full
disclosure: I play the guitar although I don’t consider myself a guitar player.
I play rhythm guitar, almost never any lead stuff because I’m just not that
good, and I’m always watching other players to see how they do it. That was my
motivation for watching closely.)
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| Caution: |
I
watched the singer’s left hand and realized he was playing in the wrong
position on the fretboard, playing the wrong notes. When I looked at his right
hand, he wasn’t playing the correct string, either. He was singing the song,
and very well, too, but he was totally faking the guitar work! Just to be sure,
I looked at the guitar cable and noticed that it wasn’t plugged into the amp or
a mixing board either. In fact, it seemed to just disappear under a mat that he
was standing on.
I
stared in absolute fascination. I have never seen anything like this before and
just couldn’t imagine that I was the only one who noticed. A hundred things
passed through my mind, like did he think he was fooling people? Was I the only
guitar player to see him in action? Does he think he’s actually playing?
The guy
had a decent voice and was quite a showman with all the stage moves that one
sees in house bands. Maybe it was just this song, and I was mistaken.
At the
end of the number, he put the guitar back in the stand, took a sip of water,
and moved over to the keyboard. I watched him hit a couple of buttons as if he
was selecting a particular instrument or tone. Then he counted in and his
assistant hit play on the computer for the next song. Almost immediately, he began
pounding on the keys and while he was in the correct rhythm he wasn’t playing
anything remotely like the music coming out of the speakers.
I
followed the connector cable coming out of the back of the keyboard and it went
under the same mat as the guitar and no other cables were coming out. Another
fake instrument!
I
suppose it’s a good thing the microphone was plugged in or he could have billed
himself as Marcel Marceau plays and sings the hits!
I went
back to dancing and smiling and laughing with all the other family members and
guests.
Spilled
beans
I went
back to a table to sit a couple of songs out and one of my wife’s cousins came
over to me. She said, “What do you think of the singer?”
“I
think he’s a really good karaoke performer.” Was my reply.
“What
do you mean?” she responded.
“He’s singing
but he’s not playing anything. Neither of his instruments are plugged into
anything and he’s not even playing the correct notes. Watch him right now and
tell me if you can see him playing the piano like the music sounds.” She
listened intently for a minute while watching his hands on the keys.
“Oh my
god! You’re right!” She wandered off to tell her husband and soon, just about
everyone in the wedding party knew and was talking about it. There were lots of
knowing looks and giggles passed around during the next couple of hours. By
the time MB and I headed back to the hotel, it was no longer an item for
discussion.
It was, however, a topic for conversation at our gathering the next
couple of days.
It's
important to note that knowing this guy was faking it didn’t detract from our
enjoyment of the evening. Truth is, the guy did a fine job of picking a good
blend of music, was a solid vocal talent, and acted like someone in a live band
should act when entertaining people. We danced, sang along, and had a great
time. (I’ve since learned that he’s a regular at this place and is very well
liked for the parties that he hosts at the place.)
Summing
Up
So, a
guy who doesn’t actually play any instruments (although he fervently pretends
to do so) has a following of adoring regulars, who come out to celebrate his
faking it (perhaps they don’t know it) and they dance and sing while he spins
the tunes and appears to be doing something they really like, leading a big
party every weekend.
Now I
understand all of the Trump signs scattered all over the area!
